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About Deviant Ashley CarnadieFemale/Australia Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Literature
Don't Bother
Voice of anger raising in the air
It took me a second to realize it's mine
You've reset the rules
Now I can't play the game with you
Aren't you glad you made me a fool?
Look down, I'm buried in the ground
Don't bother
This is the end of me
You could've seen it coming
But you refused to see
Refused to see
I have no more sincerity to spare
It's gone, along with the time
I spent, trying not to go insane
It's my defense mechanism
Your victory is vain, darling
Look down, I'm buried in the ground
Don't bother
It's the end of me
If you'd taken my warning
You would've seen in coming
But you refused to see
My honesty
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 1 0
Literature
Put Me out of My Misery
Put me out of my misery
This is a death wish
You see,
My soul is trapped
Inside a broken body
I write because I don't speak
My voice was stolen, stolen
As was my freedom
Set me free
(The world is a bundle of wet cotton that's become my burden)
Set me free
(For I am a Judas in a world full of Christ)
Set me free
(I'll light up for the last time and die in your arms)
Please, set me free
Put me out of my misery
I'm a sad freak on a leash
You see,
My heart is stranded
Somewhere no one will ever find
I sing because I can't speak
No one will hear me when I speak
Set me free
(I hit rock bottom and I can't climb back up)
Set me free
(If you won't I'm gonna have to to this myself)
Set me free
(I'll light up for the last time and die in your arms)
Please, set me free
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 1 0
Literature
See Me
Are you actually blind of my situation
Or did you choose to be?
Did you dismiss all of these problems
Simply because I am me?
You don't know how I feel inside
You don't know what runs through my mind...
Get up, get out
I know you refuse to understand
Stay away, stay out
I know you won't comprehend
Who I am
Who I wanna be
You're not likely to see
Me
I didn't try to make you feel estranged
It's just that you never seem to care
If you look into my eyes now
Maybe you'll find, you'll find
Get up, get out
I won't ask you to understand
Stay away, stay out
'Cos you'll never comprehend
Who I am
Who I choose to be
You can close your eyes
Because you won't see
You won't see anyway
You'll never see me
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 0 0
Literature
My World
Standing in this place
Our reality is senseless
As our senses unreliable
Bittersweet, your taste in my heart
Painful as the pounding in my head
Blissful
Breathe with my eyes closed
Drown in my spicy oxygen
Stinging cold inside my lungs
I see you, I feel you
Stripped down to the bones
A blank spot in a colorful painting
Smelling dead roses on the sidewalks
Just let yourself fall
You're in my world now
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 0 2
Literature
Here to Stay
Look at me
Straight into my eyes
Are those black holes you see,
Or dark chocolate coins?
Who are we now,
After you got me figured out?
Life's not as complicated as you think.
                                                               ...
Don't break the silence
It's here to stay - like me
I'm not leaving, not now - no way
I'm here to stay
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 0 0
Literature
Free
My thoughts have their boundaries
My imaginations have their limitations
My world spins as it's supposed to be
My body moves as it's supposed to move
But...
Touching things that can (should) not be touched
A false move cannot be undone
Seeing things that cannot be seen
Asking am I out of my mind
Breathing in poisonous air
You've set my lungs on fire
So why am I not dead yet?
Floating inside the blackness
Trapped in reality
Moving on, from one mistake to another
My limitations are holding me back
Now I want out; out...
My envy for you is killing me inside
Tear your face, scorch your soul
Cut me down to pieces
I need to be free. Free.
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 0 0
Literature
The Past
Lying awake with wandering eyes
The four walls that held me from escaping
seem to be laughing at me
Cursing at every thought that passes me by
I'm so far away from where I'd much rather be
I look everywhere, everywhere and found nothing
I have everything, everything and still my world is crashing
Pain is love, pain is a lie
I'd fall to an endless well at the bottom of the sky
Maybe then freedom wouldn't be so far away
I can't chase time and it wouldn't rewind
What's left are the bitter memories in the back of my mind
Now if I try to break these walls
Will I succeed or will I die trying?
With the tears frozen behind my eyes
Cruelty of the agony ripped my heart to pieces
Now if I leave everything behind,
will anything change?
I can't promise that the past won't come back
Come back and haunt me
The past will come back to haunt me
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 0 0
Literature
Wake-Up Call
Wake-Up Call
Stop and stare
Watch me walk away
Not a care
About what you have to say
You've cut me off
And tears from yesterday
Don't matter anymore
Won't matter anymore
'Cos I'm in love with my life
Don't give a damn about your lies
(You've got the world to back you up
But it doesn't change who you are)
Yes I'm in love with my life
And I'm free 'cos I've paid the price
(And I'm not who you thought I was
I'm more real than you'd ever be)
Erase that fake smile off your pathetic face
How long would you keep up this charade?
They'd find out in the end
And your memories will fade
Like it was never there
No one will ever care
'Cos I'm in love with my life
Don't give a damn about your lies
(You've got the world to back you up
But it doesn't change who you are)
Yes I'm in love with my life
And I'm free 'cos I've paid the price
(And I'm not who you thought I was
I'm more real than you'd ever be)
This is your wake-up call
This is your chance to make it all up, hmm
This is your wake-up ca
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 2 0
Literature
Let Me Be The Last To Know
And if you didn't care, why are you so angry?
You're not the only one who can see right through me
You shine like the stars in the deep, dark sky
To love you, I know I need no reason why
I wish I can tell you he's not in my heart anymore
But I can assure you he has no key to unlock the door
Look into my eyes - I can see us
Fire and ice dance together - in perfect harmony
Untouched by the lukewarm still water
Don't leave me again, and don't let go
Even if you stopped loving me long ago
Don't tell me,
because I don't want to know
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 0 0
Literature
Need You So Bad
Need You So Bad (Alone)
Left alone again
This room is bright
But I feel so dark inside
Missing your hands wrapped around me
Missing the loving warmth of your body
Take me, take me away
Before I drown in my own tears
Just like the joy that sorrow kills
What beautiful, beautiful imagery on my mind
We're together and you never leave behind
When I'm with you, you're all I need
Without you I can't stand on my own two feet
I'm alone again
Feels so right
and yet so wrong inside
I think I'm losing my mind
Missing your heart beating in my ears
Missing the rush of blood in your veins
Don't let me slip away
Dragged down by my own fear
My home is empty, nobody's here
What beautiful, beautiful imagery on my mind
We're together and you never leave behind
When I'm with you, you're all I need
Without you I can't stand on my own two feet
You're the only one who can make it right
You're the only one who can make me smile
Where are you now...?
Can you hear me out, because I'm lonely
And I need you
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 0 0
Mature content
Break You :iconstyxm:StyxM 0 2
Literature
WWYD
WWYD (What Would You Do)
You say you're not lying
But how would I know that?
You might say you're trying
But you're not acting like a man
I might just give you a chance
If only you asked for one
How would I know you've changed?
Giving up seems so easy for you
Coward - I can't believe I fell for you!
I gave you everything;
You took my everything
What would you do,
now that I'm gone?
I still can't stop thinking
that you're the love of my life
Because of you, my heart's sinking
But who knows, I might just thrive
I would've given you a chance
Had you asked me for one
I believe that you'll never change!
Giving up must be easy for you
Coward - I regret ever falling for you!
I gave you everything;
you took my everything
What would you do,
now that I'm gone?
I'm gone, Baby, I'm gone
And trust me, I'll be fine
I'm better off without you
I'm gone, Baby, far gone
Now what would you do?
What can you do...?
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 1 2
Literature
You've Left
You've left;
you're gone
This time and place have finally won
Back to the deafening silence;
back to the bittersweet loneliness
Is it just another challenge?
Will it be any use for me
to beg and plead;
to scream and cry
Because I want you here;
I want you near
Right now...
Tomorrow...
All the time.
So you've left
You've left me here;
but I cannot shed another tear
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 1 9
Literature
Tell Me
Tell Me (I'll Tell You)
Tell me I'm beautiful
Tell me it's true
Tell me I'm perfect
Tell me it's true
Tell me I'm the only one for you
Say it to me as if you're not lying
Tell me you love everything I do
Sweet words to send me high....
                                 flying
Tell me you love me
Tell me it's true
Tell me that you care
Tell me it's true
Just tell me what you need
I'll be right there for you
So tell me I'm beautiful
And I'll tell you everything's alright :)
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 1 3
Literature
Untitled LoveHate Poem
I carved your name on my thigh
A reminder of the times you got me high
Then slam me back down again
And leave me alone to deal with all this pain
I whisper your name through my lips
Still thinking that you're for keeps
What if I never want to let go
What, is there something I should know?
I need you
Pathetic, yes
I confess
I need you
I understand I shouldn't bring you down
But I refuse to let myself drown
Alone, to face the judgment day
Maybe it would be better if you stay away
Return me to my previous condition
When I didn't require your attention
Before your bittersweet love
Something I am reluctant to speak of
But necessary...
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 2 8
Literature
So Beautiful
So Beautiful</i>
Lying awake on my bed
Holding my pillow tight
Memories I can't forget
Rushing through the night
An empty night you promised to spend with me
I should've known this is how it's gonna be
Why am I still waiting, Baby?
If I could just show you
How much I love you
If I could just hold on
Stay and never move on
Maybe we could be beautiful
So beautiful
Staring at this wreckage
Lasted forevermore
Feeling that doesn't fade
Hitting right in the core
A fever burns deep under my skin
You can see my patience wearing thin
I know I'll never win
If I could just show you
How much I love you
If I could just hold on
Stay and never move on
Maybe we could be beautiful
So very beautiful...
:iconStyxM:StyxM
:iconstyxm:StyxM 2 3

Favourites

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deviantID

StyxM
Ashley Carnadie
Australia
Ashley M. Carnadie

FINALLY 18!!!

a freak and loves the fact that she is

can't stop writing for her life's sake

what else do you need to know?

Current Residence: Jakarta
Favourite genre of music: Rock, Punk, Metal, Emo, Celtic.
Operating System: Windows
MP3 player of choice: iPod Nano 4th Generation
Interests
Yep. That's right. I'm leaving.

From now on, my art and thoughts and such would only be posted on:

-> Facebook: facebook.com/theriverstyx

-> Twitter: twitter.com/imthemockingjay (may change any time)

-> Tumblr: katnisseverdeengirlonfire.tumblr.com

-> Formspring: formspring.me/mockingjayssing

Thanks to everyone who's watched me and fav'd my art/writing :) But... I'm no longer interested in deviantART. I might check in once in a while just to browse people's arts (for inspirations and such) but I won't be online anymore. See you guys, good luck, and keep up the creativity! :heart:

XOXO Ashley
  • Listening to: the TV
  • Reading: my own journal
  • Watching: Shaun the Sheep
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: mineral water

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconguitarsapir:
GuitarSapir Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2010
what's up????? :huggle:
:heart: :D
Reply
:iconstyxm:
StyxM Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2010
Hey you, I don't use deviantART anymore. how about yourself? :)
Reply
:iconguitarsapir:
GuitarSapir Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2010
yeah i barely use it too lol but i love to get back her sometimes and see all the great people i use to talk to , you know..
im doing fine. at home finallY! :P
how about you?
Reply
:iconyukonao:
yukonao Featured By Owner May 3, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i tag u in my journal :)
Reply
:iconkariliimatainen:
KariLiimatainen Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
:thanks: so much for the favīs !!!



********* :nod: **********



*** nature is everything ***



:heart:
Reply
:iconkikiamarilla:
kikiamarilla Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2010
Thanks for the llama! :D I gave you one in return.
Reply
:iconfabfourisme:
fabfourisme Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010
my pleasure... :D
i'm from Kicau Bintaro Magazine...
see n watch your poetry... :D
Reply
:iconstyxm:
StyxM Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Oowh... that's cool hehe. =D
Reply
:iconexillior:
Exillior Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Belated thank you for the :+devwatch: - I can't believe I still hadn't thanked you properly for it! :ohmygod: :glomp:
Reply
:iconelfthekiller:
elfthekiller Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2010  Student Digital Artist
makasi fav-na :la:

--
If you'll die tomorrow, what will you gonna do today ?
Reply
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